Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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