lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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