That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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