Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
