Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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