i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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