let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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