hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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