i don't like sucking hair
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
