I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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