So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
