Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
