alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
