My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
