Pappa wants mamma naked
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
