I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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