I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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