she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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