Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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