ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
50% drunk capacity currently
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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