We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
