Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He passed out mid-signature
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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