Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
ugly people sure do ruin things
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
