she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
