38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
