I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
