My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
