shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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