I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
do herpes really smell.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
