Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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