Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
