At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
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