some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
