Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
