We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
