Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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