I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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