Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Say something about gay babies.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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