bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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