If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
