watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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