youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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