I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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