Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
