To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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