I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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