i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
