i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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