remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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