We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
