he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
